Over the weekend, CNN aired a segment about why so many white evangelicals supported Donald Trump despite the fact that pretty much everything he does contradicts their stated principles. He pays them lip service. But I was somewhat startled to see Pastor Greg Locke on the screen. His rant was so over-the-top that readers here donated even more to Planned Parenthood. He eventually went to their Washington, D.
Hjs Problem: The Fearful Pastor instantly gets defensive upon learning of abuse in his church. But if you do, her adultery and Pennsylvania oral surgeons adultery of the one she marries will be credited to your account before God, not theirs. His rant was so over-the-top that readers here donated even more to Planned Parenthood. And what about the children? However, the Bible also makes clear the way in which God views abuse and oppression. If the Lord divorced his covenant people for their abuse of the vulnerable, surely it is grounds for those who have trusted in the God and When a preacher abuses his wife who cares for the poor in spirit.
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It could be a death of a child or a spouse. We were members there years ago and witnessed it in his home. It is hard to forgive and let go of anger towards people who abuse us esp when these are the very people who are abusess to love and protect you. Anneke nude pics Abuse. Please see below:. If you have ever read some of the posts by the DD or CDD woman, it becomes readily apparent that they enjoy this lifestyle. What he shared with me people involved and practices lines up with the comments which will follow. They typically share with one another all the gory details of their lifestyle and ahuses becomes quickly apparent that they are willing participants. The When a preacher abuses his wife who abuses his wife in this manner, absent her consent, could very well end up in jail. May God repay her ex in this life and the next if he continues in his hardness and hatred of his wife. I have been reading a book by a preacher relating church members who DO abuse their wives and children in ways you have described. Bahamian wives are taught to brush aside any aggressive behavior of their husbands, and accept it as normal.
Tess Emily Seymour photo Pexels.
- Abused Minister's Wives.
- Perhaps the most important decision a pastor makes in his life and ministry is choosing the woman who will become his wife.
- Over the weekend, CNN aired a segment about why so many white evangelicals supported Donald Trump despite the fact that pretty much everything he does contradicts their stated principles.
- Pick A Team Everybody!
- As Doug Phillips and his ship are sinking, his story is causing a ripple of waves of questioning, recalling of incidences, comparing notes, sharing of stories.
Tess Emily Seymour photo Pexels. During my teen years, I tried to tell several pastors my dad was abusive. I tried to explain his violence and lust while skirting around my own embarrassment and a nagging sensation that I was betraying my family. I told one pastor about how my dad had thrown an iron at my head. I told another that my dad had bought me a bikini. I meant to imply my dad wanted his daughter to look sexy, but spelling that out, saying those words, made me feel dirty, like damaged goods.
As a victim, I found I used a different vocabulary than the rest of the world. Worse, they may actively try to sweep things under the rug, convince us to stay quiet, and recommend we stay with a dangerous abuser. They neglect to involve a counselor or take us to a doctor. Why does this happen? How can pastors who have graduated seminary, studied the Bible, and counseled countless others give such terrible advice?
Why do they bungle or cover up the way they do? Understanding the motivations behind the mishandling of abuse is a first step in breaking the ChurchToo cycle. Firstly, it can help pastors and church leaders avoid common pitfalls. Understanding where someone is coming from and why they reacted wrongly to a situation can help bring clarity and closure. It also equips us to respond to said pastor, confronting that person with their sin, and calling on them to repent and grow. The Problem: This fellow is ignorant and immature.
Who knows? Whatever the case, when he encounters abuse, his nativity shows. He may come off as disbelieving. He may genuinely not comprehend the seriousness of the situation. The Problem: When this pastor encounters abuse, his gut reaction is to fret about appearances.
He wants to smooth things over and pretend everything is fine. The Solution: Jesus never excused evil, sugarcoated sin, or failed to call a sinner to repentance. He offered forgiveness, yes, but with repentance as the prerequisite.
By focusing on what the world will think, the Superficial Pastor has become less like Jesus, and more like the world. If he wants his church to stand out and truly honor Christ, he needs to prioritize ministry over brand. Pursue justice.
Correct the oppressor. Defend the rights of the fatherless. The Problem: The Fearful Pastor instantly gets defensive upon learning of abuse in his church. If the abuser is on staff, he may immediately fear being sued by the victim.
He may also fear being sued by the abuser if he fires them or exercises church discipline. He fears his church will be financially devastated, that his name will be dragged through the press, and his career destroyed. Because of his fear, he may be awkwardly hands-off and non-responsive toward victims. He may lawyer up, stop returning phone calls, and act more like a blackmailed celebrity than a loving shepherd. His love of money and fear of liability outweigh his passion for mercy, love, and shepherding his flock.
The Problem: This pastor has too much on his plate. This pastor likely has a really good heart, but he needs to be wise and ask for help. Learning to outsource and share the load will not only serve his congregation better but hopefully relieve a great deal of his stress.
They may preach the gospel on Sunday, but neglect to exemplify it in their lives. Perhaps they lack the love of Jesus and are apathetic toward sin and suffering. Whenever we encounter a Wolf, we must hold them accountable by involving other pastors, and sometimes law enforcement as well.
Fallen and flawed, they range between foolish and downright corrupt. Discerning the difference can take a great deal of wisdom. Or, you may meet someone who fits none, yet still, for whatever reason, lacks the courage, integrity, or wisdom to handle abuse responsibly. Whatever the case, these five pastors—these dangerous counselors—are hopefully people we can avoid, and avoid becoming.
In her book Not Forsaken , she reflects on how God brought life and hope in the darkest of situations. She offers biblical truths and gospel hope that can help survivors of abuse as well as those who walk alongside them. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. About Archives Subscribe.
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Please pay first for either a phone counseling session or an email question. Something in this article caught my eye. For most, however, such is not the case. Patricia's Corner. Enough senseless damage has already been done. The comments were condensed, so feel free to click on the links to go directly to the full comments. All Topics.
When a preacher abuses his wife. Pastor Greg Locke’s ex-wife recently recorded a video reflecting on their divorce.
He swears. And there are so many more messages where those came from. When news of the divorce was made public to his church earlier this year, The Christian Post spoke with him about it , and he said his wife was mentally ill and that was putting a strain on their relationship.
In other words, it was her fault. She is at a place that helps ladies get on their feet again. I sat at the table with them while I interviewed Melissa. They have been appalled at his actions. Melissa has spent a total of seventeen days in the hospital with chest pains after receiving the harshest of contact from Greg. She eventually gave a few more distressing details. Pastor Greg Locke hit his wife. Melissa also shared that Greg had spit in her face during the previous summer and broken her phone as she tried to calm him down during a fit of rage.
Her busted phone was church-issued. None of his actions, though, can be justified. He and his buddy make all the decisions, take in all the money, and report to nobody. My fear is that the people who need to read it the most will just dismiss it as Christian persecution. To read such vicious lies and out of context things about a situation people are ignorant of is completely disabling. People will choose to believe whatever they want to.
All 4 of my kids know the truth, stand with me and are mortified over the falsehoods. It was a control tactic….
Of course we said crazy, regretful and angry things in messages. Our family and all those involved could use your earnest prayers and hope that you can respect our privacy. Enough senseless damage has already been done. No one was safe, not my pastor, not my friends, not my teachers.
I had to walk the knife edge of giving up my sense of humanity, or suffering whatever. I put as much distance as I could while still wearing the mask of honoring and obeying. That put the nail in the coffin of my old church background. I knew I could never heal as long as the church sided with my abuser.
Mark, Your very moving narrative is yet one more reason why many people, myself included, have virtually no use for the church in modern society. You provide an excellent case study of what happens when this sort of dogma is taken to an extreme.
Hopefully you grew into adulthood and escaped the trap where you found yourself ensnared. Hopefully, healing has begun. Indeed, it is hard to heal when you have such grave wounds fostered upon you and then by people you loved and trusted.
Healing is a long process and you may never completely recover from this trauma but hopefully you are making progress. It is hard to forgive and let go of anger towards people who abuse us esp when these are the very people who are suppose to love and protect you.
It is, thankfully, in the past for you now and you no longer have to endure the humiliation and pain which plagued you during your youth. It will be even harder to let go of the hostile emotions and you feel towards the various persons involved. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves not the persons who wronged us.
Your situation is not all that different from the spanked wives. In their case, the couple seeks justification through religion for their out-of-mainstream erotic preferences.
They use religion to justify it so they will not have to view themselves as somewhat sexually deviant. In your case, the underlying principle is the same.
Your father had sadistic tendencies and enjoyed humiliating and abusing you. He enjoyed hurting others. One does not, however, like to view himself in such a light so he contrives a way to justify it — once again using religion. He was sadistic and he sought to justify this evil via shrouding the behavior under the guise of religion.
The church elders and authorities, for their part, were complicit — accessories to the abuse, as it were. There is no justification for what they did. You know that and i know that. Your job now is to put all of that injustice behind you and move forward.
It sounds like the wounds are still quite fresh on your mind. You have crawled out of the abyss and now you have the freedom to move forward. Healing will be long and difficult — with many setbacks — but it can be accomplished. I disagree. If the spanked wife is like me, she feels that there is no way out.
She is completely helpless. I think someone here posted a video about cults and manipulative control. He found a church that matched his theology, and that church praised him for having his children under control, even approving the external means. I think there are men and women so deceived by theological systems that they call good evil and evil good. Like Liked by 1 person.
Mark, Remember one important difference. You were a child with no rights and no power. You were very literally trapped in that situation. There is no need to obtain consent to spank a child. The child is truly helpless until he grows up and leaves the home where he is being abused.
The CDD wife must agree to this abuse and she is free to withdraw consent at any time. The husband who abuses his wife in this manner, absent her consent, could very well end up in jail. Now, I will grant you that there may well be some women who fit the scenario you describe. For most, however, such is not the case. My own grandmother was the victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her violent husband.
One important factor to consider is that in cases of true abuse where the husband beats the wife, it is typically not spanking. They punch them, kick them, slap them, hit them with objects like 2 x 4 boards, etc.
They knock out teeth, break ear drums, blacken eyes, punch or kick in the abdomen and perpetrate all manner of injuries. The spanking for the CDD crowd has an erotic element although they are loathe to admit it.
You would not see any of them advocating blackening an eye or kicking the wife in the abdomen yet these are very common behaviors in true abusive, non-consensual marriages. If you have ever read some of the posts by the DD or CDD woman, it becomes readily apparent that they enjoy this lifestyle.
In fact, they describe scenarios wherein they provoke the husband so he will punish them. It is almost as if they are play-acting, at times.
They use God as an excuse for something they want to do, anyway. A whole lot of couples engage in these activities without any basis in religion. In the scenario you describe, you were truly helpless. You were a child, dependent on your parents.
You had not realistic way out and you certainly were not intentionally provoking your father so he would spank or otherwise humiliate you. More likely, your father had a violent, hair-trigger temper and it took next to nothing to provoke him. If he also abused alcohol, it would take even less to provoke him. You were suffering in a very real sense. These women are not suffering. They gleefully chat with one another on forums about how happy they are in these relationships and how wonderful is their marriages, as a result.
They share all the gory details with one another including how great the sex was afterwards. You, by contrast, liked nothing about the lifestyle you were forced to endure. You would most certainly ended the abuse if you could. Certainly, you would not chat with your friends about it, describing all the humiliating details you experienced at the hand of your father.
It was a source of shame for you. Perhaps a few women are affected in the way you suggest. The majority of them like the lifestyle and they willingly share the details, comparing notes with one another. Worse, they believe they are getting brownie points with God for engaging in these behaviors.
Mark, regarding your previous comment, I am certain there was an element of what you describe on the part of your father. Absolutely the people who swallow hook, line and sinker the various fundamentalist theology are not the rocket scientists of the world. No one with true critical thinking skills would buy into this garbage. BUT, having said that, I do also believe your father enjoyed what he was doing. It is quite another to repeatedly humiliate the child and reign terror upon him in the manner you have described.
I would say, based on what you describe, that your father fell to the extreme end of the spectrum, even given the circles in which he traveled.
Odds are that even if your father were an atheist, he would have abused you. Both my grandfather and his youngest son were violent and abusive men. Neither one of them ever attended church nor endorsed an theology.
Some very intelligent persons can be violent. It is not only the simple-minded who abuse. It is just that the smarter people are less likely to use God as an excuse for what they are doing. If the man has chosen this, she is basically in the same situation as any other abused wife, whether she has been coerced into signing a piece of paper or not.
Sometimes maybe, but I suspect often no. That spiritual element is added part you are discounting. I think you are ignoring or unaware of how coercive peer pressure is, and especially how coercive it is when church leaders and spiritual fathers who led you to Christ, then tell you how Christ says you should act.
My father grew up in an emotionally abusive home, and when he became a Christian, he put two and two together — that he should continue the same treatment, except now it was a spiritual duty to grow the next generation to obey Christ. It was set up like a quiz show, where the subject was told that they had to administer a shock to the contestant if he got the answer wrong. For each wrong answer, the voltage was increased, with the dial showing levels that were mildly painful, severely painful and even deadly.
The question was whether the subject could be coerced, based on the situation, to administer a deadly shock. You can easily find articles about this study. People are born and raised in a situation that does exactly this. Patriarchal cult churches teach women that they are sinful and worthless. If they complain, they are obviously in rebellion and must be disciplined. CDD is a mark of a patriarchal cult. Like Liked by 2 people. It may have been Bill Gothard.
Ditto for submitting to husbands or parents. Mark, You make excellent points. Absolutely your father should have known better. He had achieved enough to demonstrate a good solid mind. One thing I do wish to bring up is that abuse tends to perpetuate abuse. Persons who are abused by their parents commonly grow up to be abusive parents, themselves.
My guess is that whether or not he became a Christian, he would have been abusive with you. Now having said that, I am the last person to defend Christianity. It is riddled with nonsense and dogma which defies any measure of common sense. I am at a loss to understand how so many people can actually buy into this stuff. Additionally, your citing the Milgram study as an excellent example to support the points you are making. I teach several courses at the university level which include the Milgram study in the course content.
It was, as you know, a study in authority and absolutely it stemmed from the post-WWII sentiment to understand the Nazi atrocities. It is also cited as one of the most glaring cases of abuse in research wherein subjects were actually harmed via their participation.
As you pointed out, they believed they killed someone and it devastated them. Another interesting study for you to look up, if you have not already done so, is the Sanford Prison Experiment. It is truly mind-blowing as well. Please do not interpret my commentaries as any attempt to defend Christianity or the patriarchs who support it. I am but pointing out that there is more to this story than meets the eye.
There are some hidden agendas on the part of the participants. It is fine with me if you want to cast culpability upon the Christian Church for putting forth such ridiculous dogma. I simply want you to be aware that there is more to this whole thing than meets the eye. Read some of the postings of the women and it is primarily the women who post who participate in this nonsense as they discuss it with one another.
They typically share with one another all the gory details of their lifestyle and it becomes quickly apparent that they are willing participants. There is an element of theater to the whole thing. When you are dealing with truly abusive men who victimize their hapless wives or girlfriends, you will not hear of much spanking. Rather you will hear of punching, kicking in the abdomen or back, knocked out teeth, black eyes, etc.
They are not adverse to hitting the women with 2 x 4s. They do not, however, ever spank them. That being said, you are absolutely correct in holding that the Christian Church puts forth absolutely asinine dogma and the patriarchs who run the organization have caused immeasurable harm to many people. At least they are no longer burning the women at the stake and torturing them with absolutely diabolical means in order to elicit confessions for witchcraft.
I suppose, in that light, we can view the CDD as progress. Rachel, Again not to defend these idiots — I think Christian dogma is riddled with asinine ideology BUT it does give the woman an out in instances such as you mention.
They are allowed to disobey if the husband is commanding them to do something contrary to the will of God. They are told that they must obey God before man so that is their out. Ask yourself this: exactly how bright can these folks really be if — in spite of overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary — they believe the earth is years old. We are not talking Rhodes scholars here. That part is not their fault and we folks who do have the brains should be grateful for the straws we drew in the lottery of genetics.
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But the absolute LAST woman one would ever think would find herself in an abusive situation would be the minister's wife. Not only is she regarded as a "saint" but even more so, her husband is considered "perfect" in the eyes of his congregation, and societ. But the real truth is there are many minister's wives who are being beaten, abused, and treated like scum by their pastor husbands and who are enduring a silent "hell" because to expose him would mean ruining his career, his ministry and destroy the faith of a congregation.
How does one explain that the man who preaches to them every Sunday about love, peace, joy, patience, endurance, family, children, and all the other morals of society that we seek to emulate, comes down out of that pulpit and goes home and beats his wife? Actually turns into a "monster? Hard to believe, but it is happening as I write these words. Because there are ministers out there who are Psychopaths, wolves in sheep's clothing that the Bible warns us about.
Pretending to be one thing, but they are actually just the opposite. See my article on "Do you live with a Psychopath? It starts out very subtle. Most minister's wives have supported their minister husbands through seminary, maybe even worked to put him through seminary, dutifully listened to him practice his sermons on her at home, worn the "many hats" that the congregation places on her head, like choir director, Sunday school teacher, youth director, secretary, President of the women's society, entertained the parsonage committee, headed up Vacation Bible School, etc.
She could be being kicked, slapped, shoved, thrown, punched, had her life threatened, etc. Because they look like such a happy family at church.
She herself is having a hard time believing that this man who she loves, and who preaches God's love, would hate and slowly destroy his wife. This is not what she thought being married to a minister was all about. And because she is very spiritual herself, and may even be a great student of the Bible, she believes that if she just tries harder, there would be nothing for her husband to complain about.
How does she show up at all the hundreds of church functions acting as if nothing is happening? Does she wear long sleeves to hide her bruises? Does she show up in a neck brace one Sunday because her pastor husband threw her into a wall, but tell the congregation that her dog pulled her off her front porch?
Does she pray to God every night to help her to become more attractive to her husband? Or more submissive? Or does she ask God to change her husband?