Ten sex stories-10 Naughty Sex Stories From History - Listverse

Last week, we put out a call for the best worst bad sex stories. And boy, did readers come through. In fact, the hundreds and hundreds of submissions we received make us want to retire our genitals forever. What makes a bad sex story the worst sex story, particularly when you've received submissions of them in a matter of hours? There is so much disappointing virginity loss, so many intrusive animals or parents , untold semi-public sex encounters foiled by police.

Ten sex stories

Ten sex stories

Prince Albert Victor, grandson of Queen Victoria, is from a largely forgotten branch of the royal family. Officially a member of the mile high club, Teigen spilled the tea to Cosmopolitan in about the wildest place she and Legend have ever hooked up. We finally settled on one-not my Ten sex stories choice, or even my second, but he actually followed through. All it took to derail plan A and plan B was a random, somewhat skeevy guy to compliment my tie. He was more mortified esx I was My eyes went from the condoms, to his outreached hand, and up to his eyes. I knew that if I could see what was going on, I wouldn't go through with it, so we agreed that I would be blindfolded and he would take care of me, gauging the situation and making sure the Guest didn't overstep my limits. We should celebrate our sexual memories because they're part of the Blonde in the kitchen of Ten sex stories sexuality — which includes who we were in the past, as well as who we'll Teb in the future.

Menstrual cramps all month. Funny Sex Stories

Please Swipe Right Pt. The Edging of Tammy Pt. More on that later. Quality Housekeeping Erotic encounter with a young hotel worker. All models on this website were 18 years or older at the time of shooting. You can access this website on any mobile device and it's going to look College sex invaders, as well. The Breeder Caught on their pack lands, she's used as a breeder. MILFs are less enthusiastic about everything, because you can only be enthusiastic up to the nth time. Dorm room banging Ten sex stories bound to get crazy, you're not going to believe some of the things that these people end Ten sex stories doing. Personals - Sexy personals for adults. Susan Ch. Take care.

Sometimes, I even dispense unsolicited advice based on personal experiences on matters such as staying faithful , and which awkward scenarios couples should expect to face in the sack.

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Last week, we put out a call for the best worst bad sex stories. And boy, did readers come through. In fact, the hundreds and hundreds of submissions we received make us want to retire our genitals forever.

What makes a bad sex story the worst sex story, particularly when you've received submissions of them in a matter of hours?

There is so much disappointing virginity loss, so many intrusive animals or parents , untold semi-public sex encounters foiled by police. There are many UTIs, though maybe only one involved orange squirting. Surprise anal probably could be its own anthology, as could "ejaculate in unexpected places.

Emitted from one's nose mid-giggle. So much of it is lubricated or utterly spoiled by alcohol. But the below 10 stories managed to make even those sexual misadventures pale. When we vote later today, it will be a brutal choice among herculean feats of awful sex. But not as brutal as actually experiencing it. The Unexpected Exclamation. While the man who wanted to be called Clifford the Big Red Dog — doggie style, get it?

I met some guy at a party, and ended up going to his house Mid-thrust, he started laughing manically and yelled "I am fucking an alien princess!

I am fucking an alien princess! Not even looking over at me, he said: "you can't have any. Bent Out Of Shape. There were many physical contortions and injuries that hurt to read about, but even for a lady, this one was most painful , from commenter Jeremy:.

While riding me cowgirl, an ex bounced up too high, I partially slid out, she came back down and my penis kinked in the middle, to the left. I felt the snap echo through my entire body. Horrible screams. A shame, it was pretty fun up until that point. It stayed like that for nearly a year when one day it miraculously straightened itself. The Full Release. It would be easy to stack the finalists entirely with sheer gross-outs, but not everything can be about poop.

Or vomit. Or pee. But it can sometimes! Via email:. I was fifteen. My first boyfriend had talked me into giving him a blowjob, his and my first one. After some hesitation, I began and everything seemed to be going as he described it would be. Half way through, I noticed my chest felt really warm and wet.

I looked down and to my horror, there was an indescribable amount of diarrhea covering my white shirt. To this day, I'm not sure what happened. Of course the real fun part was when I had to left my t-shirt over my head to get it off.

The Brass Ring. Never again will we doubt whether Farrelly brothers-style slapstick ever happens in real life. Commenter interrobanggirl gets bonus points for urination add-on. It was the first time I had sex with this guy, and he was hitting it from behind on his big brass bed. At one point, I was getting tired, so I went to turn my head to make eye contact I had read that that made guys crazy and I realized that my head was stuck between the brass posts.

I was like a kid in a banister, and kept imagining firemen having to save me. My date sure couldn't save me - he, in fact, laughed so hard that he peed on the floor. The Sweaty Political Fetishist This contender, salvagedgrace, made it to the finals purely based on a buffet of transcendent terribleness, all in a single, epic romp.

The French Connection. Parental walk-ins were a popular part of the sexual horror story pantheon, as were trips abroad, but only one, Violeta's, included an unexpected parent, transnationalism and a champagne bottle up the ass.

A few years ago, my French bf-at-the-time took me to Paris to meet his family His mother, a haughty Parisienne who believes that her only son is GOD, and that no girl could possibly be classy enough to deserve him. Their regard is mutual - he worships her as much as she worships him. One evening after a champagne-soaked dinner, she left to go to the theater. Expecting that she'd be gone for several hours, we started having regular sex, and then anal sex, on a couch adjacent to the table at which we'd had dinner.

Things kept getting hotter, and my b. This felt good at first I slowed him down in an attempt to understand what on Earth my body was doing, and I realized that my bowels were moving. And I kind of realized that it was too late to stop what was happening. At this already Godforsaken moment, we hear a key in the door and his mother pops into the room.

The bitch had forgotten her shawl or something. So there I am, naked, on her couch, while her son, also naked, is holding a champagne bottle that is obviously deeply embedded in my ass.

We shriek, and he yanks out the bottle. It just rolls out - this felt like it was happening in slow motion, and I kept trying to stop it but I couldn't - and lands on her couch. The French boy and I broke up shortly thereafter.

I dumped him - pun intended. The Thwacking One-Hit Wonder. While we are in theory sympathetic to performance anxieties, Luciolebizarre's tragicomic encounter with an oblivious underperformer makes us pity her more than him. The fact that he was a grown man who still called himself Timmy should have tipped me off that this wasn't going to be the most satisfying experience.

So Timmy was a fairly sweet, if dim guy and before we had sex he told me he'd had sex with a few girls, but only one time each and he didn't know why. I was all, "That's so weird! You're totally cute, let's have sex twice today. Half an hour into fooling around, I figured it out. Not only did he not get hard at all, it seems that no one had ever told him that you need to in fact be erect before trying to penetrate a woman. He kept holding his tiny, limp dick and trying to kind of I tried my very best to, um, rectify the situation and get things really going, but he kept saying, "What's wrong?

Why won't you just put it inside you? Then it promptly just fell out. I remember how sad and floppy it looked lying against his leg and then how pitiful the whole effort was as he started to rock against me, gently thwacking his droopy, listless penis between my legs as though I must be the luckiest girl in the world. Needless to say, we did not have sex more than the one time. I wonder if he has since broken that streak. The Unwanted Stump.

Even the most kink-oriented coupler or tripler has boundaries. And for JustSmileAndNod, that was one man's sweaty stump. Since this was largely my fantasy that he had wanted to fulfill, it was going to be a male-male-female threesome. I was nervous, to say the least. He had agreed to write up an ad for Craigslist, let me review it before posting, and screen all the responses We finally settled on one-not my first choice, or even my second, but he actually followed through.

I knew that if I could see what was going on, I wouldn't go through with it, so we agreed that I would be blindfolded and he would take care of me, gauging the situation and making sure the Guest didn't overstep my limits. I was kneeling, blindfolded, in the middle of the living room, when the doorbell rang It didn't take long before Guest was naked and in my mouth. Nor did it take long after we rolled around a little bit and had changed positions that I started feeling little "feather brushes" against my arms.

For the life of me, I could not figure out what the feeling was-they were without pattern but distinct and localized sensations against my skin. The Guest, this man I had just "met" in the loosest of terms, wasn't simply sweaty, he was sweating large, gross, hairy man sweat droplets all over my face and torso.

That should have been my clue to stop, but I'm a trooper and a bit loathe to cause a scene. Besides, my Man was there, I knew I was safe, and he and I were having fun. Fast forward to the end of the afternoon.

I'm on the floor on my back after my Man and I finished fucking, kind of spent from all the activities, but still blindfolded. I can feel the Guest's hands on me, and he asks if he can get me off again. Not one to say no to an orgasm, he starts attending to me digitally. But then the sensation changes-it feels as if he's trying to fist me, but with his palm or something.

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Ten sex stories

Ten sex stories

Ten sex stories. Reader Voting

Reverend Bob Ch. Teen Seduction in a Treehouse Jack seduces Shelby in her treehouse; try not to wake parent. Kid Sister: Mother-In-law A sexy betrayal on the night before his wedding. Hypnotist Next Door Ch. Flesh and Thieves A badass female thief, high adrenaline, and a hot encounter.

Montana Ch. Montana Innocent teen gets first time experience from hot farm hand. Teenage Jerry Stays in the Closet 18 year old has sex with discreet partners. Hot Summer Night Ch. Operation Fit Bird Can he score the girl of his dreams?

Lessons In Living Ch. A Little Pastoral Care A pair of teens decide they need extra special pastoral care. Blair Moves In Blair's long-awaited reunion with Daddy is an erotic one. Emmerdale Sex Stories Ch.

Becky and Robbie Ch. Quality Housekeeping Erotic encounter with a young hotel worker. Hottest Girl in the World His lucky encounter with his sexy cousin by the pool. Naked Proposal Ambitious exec wagers wife to go nude for board position. To Be Frank Ch. Frozen in Love Ch. Separate tags with commas. More info in the FAQ. Category filter. If you are under 18 or do not wish to view adult content, you must exit now.

Adults Only. Literotica accepts quality erotic story submissions from amateur authors and holds story contests for contributors. We offer a huge selection of adult fantasies to choose from, and are always on the lookout for new and exciting ideas. We encourage you to contact us with any comments or suggestions on how we can make this free sex story site more pleasurable for you. Have fun and enjoy yourselves while visiting Literotica Erotic Fiction!

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Funny Sex Stories - DORÉ

If the year in major sex stories were to be written like a Craigslist personal ad, it would sound something like this:. No sex toys, please, as they are toxic, but respond to this CL ad if you want to play Justice Department and get all up in my , if domain names are your kink, and you love the Matrix but fantasize most about Neo's secret lingerie drawer. No griefers. OK, so it wasn't a total secret that "Matrix" co-creator and producer Larry Wachowski was a cross-dresser -- the relationship with dominatrix Mistress Isla Strix was never really hidden, as it destroyed two marriages -- but the in-depth article in Rolling Stone revealed much more.

As of last month, work was still under way on an expensive addition to the house, and a sparkling new red Lexus was parked in the indoor garage. On the transfer deed for the Castro home, the name Laurence Wachowski does not appear.

Instead, it's 'Laurenca' Wachowski. And in a judge's order, filed in the divorce proceeding, he is similarly identified as Laurence Wachowski, a. Laurenca Wachowski. In March , Sen. Mark Pryor D-Ark. Max Baucus D-Mont. Anyone with a vaguely sex-related Web site instantly felt the first frost of the chilling effects that would come from such an Internet red light district. The Justice Department added a whole bunch of new age-monitoring regulations in to their requirements for pornographers.

They added so many, you'd expect them to be done for a while. And because news died down last year, it's really easy to get lulled into thinking the harassment and shakedowns of pornographers are over. But has been the year of the surprise raid for porn film companies. Even though porn is not illegal in the United States and is For the Children, the laundry list of legitimate businesses on the receiving end of raids this year grew by one more entry this month.

Yeah, he could talk the talk, but could he walk the walk? As it happens, Albert Einstein talked all kinds of smack about his fellow scientists -- and if he ever boasted about how chicks dig physics geeks or his theory of his own relativity to a trophy-drawer of personally collected science-wife panties, he wasn't just pulling another fast equation on y'all.

In July, a bevy of Einstein's private letters were unlocked after a year hold, revealing that the king of all high-math nerds had a number of mistresses and numerous sexual liaisons with women who showered him with "affection and gifts. Sex educators had been making increasing noise all year about the use of phthalates toxic chemicals in cheaply made sex toys, but the lube really hit the fan when Greenpeace issued a toxic sex toy warning based on their investigative report that put those Crystal Jelly Dongs right off the menu.

Calling on the European Union to address what they called an "EU sex scandal," Greenpeace requested a ban on the toys similar to one put on children's toys made with the same chemicals -- just like we've proposed here in San Francisco.

Blogs responded in kind, with more information on the chemicals and a guide to unsafe sex toys or two. Sex toys had a rough year, coming and going. Not only did people freak out about what was in their toys, but legislators had fits so profound about their very existence that it kinda made us all a bit uncomfortable to associate senators and butt plugs all in one sentence.

But because they tried -- in some cases, successfully -- to make sex toys illegal in certain states, we have all been forced with a vibrator to our collective heads to consider anal beads and politicians in bed together, as it were.

But seriously -- healthy, average adult Americans were forbidden their fundamental right to buzzing bunny vibrators and bend-over-boyfriend behind closed doors when a federal appeals court in Mississippi upheld the dismissal of a case challenging the state's sex toy ban.

In space, no one can hear you masturbate. At least that was the theory tossed ahem about the Internet and in print this year, especially when Laura S. Woodmansee came out with the well-researched and highly amusing book " Sex in Space. We all knew that those annoying "Girls Gone Wild" ads we had to sit through while waiting for Stephen Colbert to come back on just had to come from the father of all douche bags, but then this year we found out we were right.

Joe Francis, the founder and director of the video series, is officially looking like the king craziest douche bag of all times. He was robbed at gunpoint and forced to perform in a bend-over-boyfriend extortion video and was arrested on charges of racketeering and drugs. The Los Angeles Times profile in which he publicly sexually humiliated the female journalist on the story significantly raised his douche bag quotient DQ.

And this month, his guilty plea for using underage girls gone wild with lawyers, natch got him a tidy little sentence. In September, Seattle resident Jason Fortuny and a friend carried a Craigslist thought experiment over into shocking reality. He took a hard-core Women Seeking Men ad from another city and reposted it to see how many replies he could get in 24 hours. Then he published every single response -- photos, e-mails, IM info, phone numbers, names, everything -- to a public wiki.

Since then, Portland copycat Michael Crook performed the same experiment but took it further, baiting respondents into giving more sexual and personal information. Crook became a troll par excellence by trying to milk his 15 minutes of attention by barraging local Web sites like 10 Zen Monkeys and Web hosting providers like Laughing Squid with bogus DMCA takedown notices related to his image when they wrote about him , turning sex-baiting into DMCA-baiting -- and now the local Electronic Frontier Foundation is suing Crook for bogus DMCA claims.

HPV human papillomavirus is a very popular sexually transmitted virus, but not exactly the kind of popular that makes you want to be in the "in" crowd. It's believed that 75 percent of the population will become infected with HPV during their adulthood , and studies show that certain types of HPV infections cause about 70 percent of all cervical cancer. In June, the U.

But wait: Conservative Christian groups have come out in opposition against the HPV vaccine , claiming that a vaccine will only encourage promiscuity and that abstinence is the best way to avoid getting HPV -- and thus injecting a life-saving breakthrough with a virus of its own: life-threatening sexual hysteria.

It's too bad: Something called " The Promiscuity Vaccine " sounds like a shot I'd like to get from a naughty nurse, rather than a dose of misinformation from the Family Research Council.

She is regarded as the foremost expert in the field of sex and technology, a sex-positive pundit in mainstream media CNN , The Oprah Winfrey Show and is interviewed, quoted and featured prominently by major media outlets.

Violet has many award-winning, best-selling books , a famous podcast , is fun to follow on Twitter , and is a San Francisco native. Her tech site is Techyum ; her audio and e-books are at Digita Publications. Two firefighters burned, one badly, in Kincade Fire.

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Ten sex stories

Ten sex stories