Like for real, this is a thing. National Joe Day! And I do celebrate, because why the heck not, right??!! The name Joe has a little bit of special meaning to me…. Both very attractive and fun!
The fridge is full of cool items. Light sabers are fun, so are toy guns and rockets. Bananas are also good but size matters and if you peel them just know they squish and break and get very messy. Sometimes, you may Swimmies masterbation yourself lusting after others, or watching pornography for extra pleasure with masturbation. Jun 7, 9, 2 0. Sam's Choice Clear American Swimmies masterbation great. Masterbbation the entire world knows, it ends up stuck to his ear, and Diaz innocently asks if it's hair gel.
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Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members, show more. Harm to minors, violence or threats, harassment or privacy invasion, impersonation or misrepresentation, fraud or phishing, show more. What does Jesus think of masterbation? Does he think its okay in moderation?? As long as its not hurting anyone. Does he think porn is bad though? I think he proberly thinks porn is pretty bad but masterbation is okay kindof.
Report Abuse. Are you sure you want to delete this answer? Yes No. Answers Relevance. Rating Newest Oldest. God bless. Source s :. Add a comment. This question is beyond 'learned' contributions and theological pronouncements, as you will know, although I think that one contributor's notion of 'masturbating in the eyes of Jesus' is an unfortunate phrase.
I know of nothing in The Bible which pronounces upon this from Jesus. If he had done so, I think that you would have crossed him once too often. His spelling would have been good, though.
He might have been a bit fed up at how many times people on Yahoo Answers ask such questions. When I contemplate such actions, I am glad that I am thick. It's not an issue. Sort of like asking what does Jesus think about walking barefoot. Jesus probably thought that there were serious issues to address and that anyone intelligent enough to recognize those issues could responsibly figure out how to masturbate or walk upright without his help.
It isn't what he now thinks of masturbation, it's what he did think of it. Remember, he's dead. I think he thought of it as a human sacrifice. We whack off and spill the seeds of millions of unborn possibilities just for our own carnal pleasure. If it feels good, do it, is the message that hedonists parrot, but is it really okay to kill all those little swimmies?
I think yes. I think yes because those little swimmies have no minds and only partial souls since they must mate with eggs via intercourse to be viable little people. So go have your fun and don't feel guilty. Remember, Jesus is dead. He died for your sins, so let him deal with it.
You have to move on. As does 1 Corinthians read the whole chapter. I would think He would think porn is satanic and wrong and masturbation is wrong if you do it lusting after somebody who is not your spouse if you lust after someone who is not your spouse then it would be fornication or adultery.
To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever! Jesus is Lord. Why quote scriptures saying that we must marry when Jesus did not marry? Her was a hypocrite, like most Christians. I do remember a verse saying "Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground" but I may be mistaken.
I don't think masturbation is right in the eyes of Jesus. But seriously - the only immoral actions are those which hurt others.
So go ahead, knock yourself out. If he didn't masturbate, he had a lot of wet dreams. A lot of Christians freak out at this notion, but it's physically impossible to not have wet dreams if you don't masturbate.
I wonder what he was dreaming about? No one really knows for sure.. Everyone has their own opinions. But I personaly think it's wrong. Before you give me a thumbs down, read what I have to say first: It's a sexual act. Sometimes, you may find yourself lusting after others, or watching pornography for extra pleasure with masturbation. It starts off with something as small as masturbation, then it gets to lust, then it gets to watching pornography.
So, the commandment that masturbation would be breaking is 'adultery. Pagination 1. Existing questions. Related Questions I have masterbation problem, which i need jesus to help? If jesus said in a dream that masterbation was not a sin would he be right? Can I jerk off for Jesus masterbation and the bible - sin or no sin? More questions. Is masterbation a sin? Masterbation a sin? Answer Questions Is it a sin to raise the dead? Why is there soo many priest molesting kids or is the media overexaderating to make the church look bad?
Difference Russian men and Western men? Does Satan make the truth look like a lie and lies look like truth? How is it that some atheists are good people despite not believing in God? How do I care about God? Why didn't Jesus choose to get married and have children, if that is really the best way?
What do you all think of Islam?
There are also fun things you can do with regular kids toys. This can be done in a standing, sitting or lying face down position. Angelina Castro. Lesbian bikini , Lesbian nipples , Masturbation together , Lesbian nipple , Masturbating together. Ads by TrafficFactory.
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Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members, show more. Harm to minors, violence or threats, harassment or privacy invasion, impersonation or misrepresentation, fraud or phishing, show more. What are some moe creative ways to masterbate for a guy?
Update: again it would be great if there was something i could use with things around the house Report Abuse. Are you sure you want to delete this answer? Yes No. Answers Relevance. Rating Newest Oldest.
It's quite messy but you are going to be in for a very nice surprize as your session progresses : Avoid jams with seeds, like strawberry as the seeds can be abrasive. Have fun! Really like to stretch my hang. Always great!! Have fun and explore. The orgasm is incredible and your do it every time your horny! The jelly seeds inside the grape fruit massage your penis when its inside it and it feels fantastic. The fridge is full of cool items.
The obvious cucumbers, carrots. The feeling of them cold is very nice : Popsicles work but get them wet first or they tend to stick in all the wrong places. Bananas are also good but size matters and if you peel them just know they squish and break and get very messy. Candles work great. We have some in a centerpiece in our dining room that can go in both places and then when they are lit and you are having dinner it is cool to remember where they were before : The arms of chairs are also great to straddle and rock on.
Some people I babysit for have these awesome chairs in their kitchen with chrome armrests that just rock. They are cold at first and then warm as you press against them. I also like to straddle bottled water that is cold or slightly frozen. The bottle needs to be firm though. Sam's Choice Clear American works great. Black Cherry flavor and you can drink it after. The wii remote is also an awesome toy. Besides the obvious it is cool to try and play some of the games that require motion with it in you : Aghain later when you play the game regular like with other you can remember where things have been.
There are also fun things you can do with regular kids toys. Light sabers are fun, so are toy guns and rockets. Kitchen utensils work well too. Wine bottles are cool too, and I like them to be cold. They work better than beer or pop bottles cuz they don't have such rough caps. The cork with wax is easier to insert. They also have cool shapes from narrow, long and tapered to shorter and widen faster.
Be careful though if you pick them out for bottle shape cuz the wine may not be so good. If someone in your family plays golf, you can use the handles of the clubs too. They aren't real thick but its still a naughty feeling and is good for variety. If you like sort of weird feelings you can use a turkey baster. Be sure to do this when you are either in the bath tub or by the sink. You fill it will really cold or really warm water and then well you squirt the water in at the right moment.
It's a rush but is is best to be close to ready when you start or the water gets back to room temp. Massaging shower heads, hot tub jets and bath tub spouts are all obvious. You can also use some shampoo tubes and new tubes of toothpaste. Cap end first though obviously LOL In the den or office you can use the arm of a chair again to straddle and rock, you can try as many pens and pencils as you can fit, and we have a real cool letter opener that has a perfect handle for insertion purposes.
Source s : There ya go! Add a comment. Asker's rating. New Ways To Masterbate. Hi, I go by Lisa, I m a crossdresser with a very tiny penis. I think that goes with being a crossdresser. There are many other things that go with being a CD, to many to list.
I can t masturbate like a normal guy, to small, short, not enough to hold on to effectively, so i had to get creative. Since I feel female and dress the same, might as well masturbate as a GG. Of course I m usually hot n horny before I get started, that s what usually takes me to this point. Gess I m a nympho. Since I m usually dressed all femme most of the time, just need to put a movie on to keep things moving along, jump in bed and let he games begin!
I ll start touching myself and exploring my body, fondling my balls, touching my inner thighs. I ll carress my 36B breasts, very sensitive nipples. Not sure why they grew on their own like that, maybe gynecomastia? Any way you slice it, i love my little perky breasts. Like I said, to small to jack normaley. What I do next is take my index finger on my right hand, I am right handed , and push my little clitty back inside its cavety where it was in the very beginning.
I ll hold it in place with my left hand while I lube my right finger with saliva and put it in with my clitty. I ll do the same with my middle finger and insert it also, feels so full and slurpy sounding.
I ll get saliva like that several times, and start pushing it in and swirl it around like playing with a GGs clit in a real pussy, omg! It even makes that slurpy wet sound like a real vagina. I think I now know how a GG feels. I love my new found way of having my big O, Oh yeah! Says it feels like the real thing Source s : Prison Inmates. Two Fingers: This method generally uses just the thumb and forefinger and can be substituted for the single hand.
You can stroke the shaft from base to tip or merely run move the thumb and forefinger back and forth over just the head of the penis Thumbs and Fingers: Encircle your penis with the thumb and two fingers from each hand. Then stroke up and down, varying the speed and the pressure until you reach orgasm. Although sometimes this doesn't always work out as you'd like. Try them out and see which ones you like best. The slicker the better in this case.
Insertion Objects: There are a great many different objects that you can thrust your penis into that will simulate vaginal intercourse. The best thing is that most of them are readily available.
Toilet paper rolls are one idea. Cutting a hole large enough for for erect penis to fit through in a watermelon or cantaloupe is another. Experiment, experiment, experiment! Liver: Ok, I know that this one might sound a little bit gross and repulsive but check it out. Have a good look the next time you buy raw liver. The texture and flexibility of it makes it a great substitute for the real thing. You could probably even warm it up a little before wrapping it around your penis.
Pillowing: In this instance, it's a little tamer than the liver, you place a couple of pillows down on the bed or location of your choice and insert your penis in between them. Then thrust your penis in and out simulating intercourse. Water Techniques Cool, clear water.
It's definitely good for what ails you. Here are a couple of ideas for you for the next time you're in the shower or taking a bath Falling Water: This method can be accomplished in a number of ways. Place yourself so that the water will spray over your penis. This can be accomplished by positioning yourself near enough to the tub faucet, the shower nozzle, or even a garden hose if you don't mind the cold water..
Shower Head: You need a hand-held shower head for this one. Direct the spray at the back of your penis, the spot where the head and the shaft meet. This can produce some very pleasurable feelings.
Soapy Shower: The shower is always a great place for masturbation, it's warm and comfy.